Secret Martial Artist Pillows

'I don't know if I should tell him about my black belt now, or wait until we're married.'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Overjumpers

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

I love you. You're my everything. Mixed Message Arts.

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

'Remember me?'

'You may now kick the bride.'

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Mod Kwan Doh

Old Karate Master

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

Woman sat at desk whilst her shadow does her dream career of being an artist.

'Somebody keeps snapping all the stud boards in half. Anybody know anything about this?'

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'Your Thai-chi-chicken Sir.'

Cluck Norris in...LAYED in ACTION!

"Use your words, Jefferson! Not a roundhouse to the face!"

"Watch out for Donlan. He came back from Tokyo with a black belt in collective bargaining."

"Three more classes and I get my belt."

'Elroy had an unfortunate knack for picking fights with the wrong people'

"Can you spare a few bricks ... I'm learning Karate."

'Instead of a black belt, some of our older students, like Mr. Mertz here, prefer the black suspenders.'

'I can say 'no' in five different languages: English, Spanish, German, Russian and Karate.'

Ninja.

"I was thinking, maybe karate isn't for me. Tio Ruben was a golden glove boxer. Maybe I can take up boxing! You don't know anything about boxing, do you, Tia Carmen?"

'... And as soon as I get out of here, I'm going back to that karate school to demand a full refund!'

Dominique Valera - The King/Cat

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

Gigolo Diary

'I suppose this means I'll have to find someone else to practice my karate on.'

Remember how I came in on December 31st and ordered a lardo-size fudgsicle sugarbomb mocha with butter sprinkles? Well, give me another one of those. Since it's something I originally had last year, it'll be like I had this one last year too. So it won't violate my New Year's resolution. The ancient art of Time-Shift-Fu. I'm a tenth level grand master. I studied under Moe Yin, the master who created "it's not really 'cheating' if it's with an ex."

'No kidding? -- a black belt in humility?'

'Are you guys having a pyjama party?'