Second Homes Pillows

Dog looks at kennel and says to cat: 'I couldn't imagine getting by without my little place in the country.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

Moving in

"Here's to East, West, South and Bridgehampton, and all the little Hamptons in between."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

Teddy queuing for the Bathroom

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

Burbank Imposes Parking Fee on RVs

"Quit your whining... Someday you'll appreciate affordable student housing."

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

Who Let the Dawg In?

Home Sweet Second Home.

"Sure, I'd get married again, but who wants a she-wolf with two adopted children?"

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'