Second Homes Pillows

Dog looks at kennel and says to cat: 'I couldn't imagine getting by without my little place in the country.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Moving in

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

"Here's to East, West, South and Bridgehampton, and all the little Hamptons in between."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

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"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

Teddy queuing for the Bathroom

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

"Sure, I'd get married again, but who wants a she-wolf with two adopted children?"

Home Sweet Second Home.

"I see no problems. We can get lots more of these houses in.."