Seasoning Strategist T-Shirts

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"I've just barbecued my head again."

"I come here for the pepper."

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

Just a little seasoning...

Mayo-A-Mayo

"No offense, but the manna needs salt."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

"I'll see your two and raise you three."

"Did no one tell you that at this time of year everybody flies south?"

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

I'm starting a lawn-mowing service instead of going to camp. Excellent. Can I have a loan to get started? What for? Gas can, tool cart, mower blade, sharpening and insurance in case I cut off my foot or someone's prized peony. Maybe we can afford summer camp. It's a bargain.

Garlic, the wonderful stinking rose.

Last Will and Testament: Salt, Pepper, Tarragon, Garlic.

"How can I word this Christmas card to my boss without wishing him a merry Christmas?"

"Is this a sex thing?"

'Hefner is thinking about the off season already.'

A vampire using ground pepper on his new victim.

Annual pursuit of free agents in the off-season.

"The reason my salt is so expensive is because it's preservative-free."

Chess Chef

Restaurant School: Fresh-Ground Pepper 101

"It needs more old salt."

"It's springtime in our new product department."

'Pass me the salt, parsley, marjoram, dill, coriander, fennel, basil, nutmeg, rosemary, thyme, oregano, and pepper please.'

Mice spice

"Janet and Bob are coming to dinner on October 6th. Better plant eight more carrots and three more potatoes this spring."

'Maybe we should bake something else besides Fruitcake.'

'The wife came up with the idea, the Haunted House was dead in this heat, yeah its going down a storm.'