Seasonal Ingredient Seeker Gifts

'It's blueberry... Blackbirds are out of season.'

Toadstools

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"The rolling wheels...the ringing bells...signal the deliciousness of summer."

Why did Ernie take that off his wrist and put it here when he had to leave the kitchen? For safety reasons. A watched pot never boils. Ernie says you are what you eat. It's true in his case. Ernie is just like his food. He is sweet, and has some but not too much spice. Plus there's nothing artificial about him. Also like his food, Ernie is an acquired taste. And to me they have both become irresistibly delicious!

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

"Habanero ..."

"Fresh-raked leaves?"

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"Step right up, lady and gents, and scoop yourself a heaping helping of the best spicy meat and bean stew this side of the mighty Mississippi!"

Did you hear? Marco Polo went to China in search of herbs and spices. Wow! The first instance of thyme travel!

'I've changed my mind Donald. I don't want to put a little spice back into our marriage anymore.'

'Anyone else seeing a pattern here?'

"Into every shopping cart a little mysterious Mediterranean product must fall."

Do they have to grow frozen vegetables in the winter?

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'

"Wow yes, it's a lovely garden, but I can only see flowers: not a carrot in sight..."

"Well, if you haven't seen him, do you know a good recipe for puff pastry?"

Jose's Hot Tamale: Rekindle that fire in the belly.

It's always good idea to check your burrito butt.

'You want the chili? - Have you had all your shots?'

"What's this Artificial newt's tail? Instant toad urine? No wonder your spells suck!"

Sadie, why have you been cheating on Mort? I needed to spice things up. Amanda Kern. Comics counseling. Mort and I have been together for years and we just don't argue the way we used to. Argue? I mean, sure, we fight but not with any real intensity. I'm confused. We've lost that loathing feeling. It's gone, gone, gone.

Mexican Seasoning Mix Mines / Polynesian Sauce Works

"Just in, new Pumpkin Enema. 'Tis the season!"

"Sorry about the excessive saffron — the Jets fumbled on their own 20."

'We don't want your business; we just want the recipe.'

"Crocuses! It's spring!"

Kitchen Consultations

'What do you expect? It's not summer anymore.'

'You don't need to worry Jean, he's a very simple cook.'

'I totally forgot what I was looking for.'

'If you're asking me, I'd recommend the perfect peppered steak from the resturant next door!'