Seasonal Gardener Mugs

"I might let the window box lay fallow, this season."

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

Beginning Yarder.

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

"Every year about this time...Tia Carmen gets back to her roots."

Easter Egg Delivery

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

Getting Rid of the Cure

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"

Grow damn you!

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

"Oh, I do a little grass on occasion, but I avoid the heavy cruciferous greens."

'I'm letting it lie fallow this year.'

"But, can he support you on what a store santa makes working one month a year?"

"I don't get it. As the Easter Bunny you're really busy for one day of the year. What do you do with the rest of your time?"

'What do you expect? It's not summer anymore.'

"Now, that's my kind of gardener: somebody who grows dandelions! I love dandelions..."

Post-Season's Greetings: 'Y'know...a month ago, everyone was all, 'Let me buy you a drink, Santa!' Now suddenly it's, 'Who's the little weirdo in the red suit?'...'

"Waitress's Day Off""

'This corner of the garden's a bit of a subtropical micro-climate actually...'

Autumn equinox - plant bulbs for spring equinox

"You only work 1 day a year. You can't call in sick!"

"Check out this app. It let's you substitute other vegetables for your nose."

"I must have been frozen -- is this the future?"

Snow Cones 50 Cents - self serve.

'We have praying mantises. They're good for the garden as long as they don't pray for the spinach.'

'I like to think of myself as a lunar landscape gardener.'

"No man should have to work on Christmas every year!"

Business Widow's Revenge

"I was going to mow the lawn, but I pulled three muscles trying to start the mower. It's been a long winter."

'All these gloves I got for Christmas make great frost protectors.'