Season Premiere Pillows

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

Perils of the double play.

"My God!! - Those actors must all be really old by now...!"

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"Hi, kid! Did you watch 'Sesame Street' today?"

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

Barbie Oscars

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

'Larry, did you feel THAT? Your career just peaked! And on MY show! Isn't that fantastic?'

'They're not tears. It's water displacement from the bath scene.'

The Scream at the movie theater.

"On the plus side, concussions are way down."

"Yes, I know it's spring dear. But can I just have another day or two in bed?"

Football Kill

'My agent told me to bring some arm candy.'

"Look! It's a picture of your first goal in your first soccer game!"

Love in The Heights

"Don't be long, Dear, you don't want to miss Celebrity Hari Kari on TV."

'Table 6 wants a glass of sangria, with chips--do you think that's enough?'