Seal Parent Gifts

Too many of my babies became coats, so I decided to increase security...

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Playing Fetch.

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"Just be yourself."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Polly txt speak

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'