Seafood Detective T-Shirts

'... and what is the sell-by date on the packet, madam?'

Try to guess the continent dining...

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

"How 'local' is the fish?"

GM Crops Genie.

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Don't tell him anything."

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

Turkey Autopsy