Seafaring Explorer Pillows

'Instead of being stranded on this island for the next 10 years, I used my pocket knife to build a boat out of palm trees. I told you my woodworking skills would pay off.'

"The only problem with working for a pirate is that we tend to only sail in the Caribbeans: It gets boring after a while..."

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Cat fishing whilst fish fly overhead.

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

Viking Loch Ness

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

Pirates double up as a scratching post.

'There is no point in leaving civilization, because civilization will not leave you.'

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'After the tone, please leave your name and number.'

'I wish I was creative'

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

Dollphins

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

'Thar she blows!'

"Fancy a game of chicken?"

'It always great to get away from it all.'

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

"And pick up a wine - something that goes with fish."

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

'Not likely - the last time I went in one of those, it sank!'

"We've got a problem."

'Are we here-there-be yet?'

"How many letters can you read?"

"International trade"

On the plus side, I'd wager a lot of you folks back there had never seen an iceburg up close before.

'Relax, I think it just wants the chum pizza.'

Sailor's Poker.

'Little is known about these amazing creatures, as there have only been a few live sightings, by giant squid scientists. Despite previous beliefs, they are actually a land animal, as the fins and respiratory system are removable.'

'I told you that parrot didn't know how to navigate.'

"Just in case you want to invest, I've got a great idea for a dot.com startup."