Scrutiny Maestro Gifts

"Office of quality assurance"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

Nathaniel Hawthorne

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

"The meeting will come to order."

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

"I need to see your budget proposal."

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

"Who called this meeting again?"