Scrum Fan Prints

'The throw I mean the throw wasn't straight.'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Young Picasso at the Beach

Beware of Falling Notice.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"I lettered in spelling."

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

Alarmistclock

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

"You cheap shit! Why can't we have a designer divorce?"

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"Perhaps there is such a thing as being too well-informed."

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

Safety Barriers

"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."

Ginger's bakery: Our Cookies Snap!

'The kidnappers want 500.000,- Euros for the boss. I offered them 600.000,- Euro to keep him.'

I've founded my own religion. Of course you have, Rudy. It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths. If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted. What are the central tenets of your religion? A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation.

"Really Mum? Natural selection gave us short arms to stop us from picking our noses?"

'Abstract art is supposed to look that way.' (A rather smarthy attitude in an art gallery)

Flava Superba

Waiter thinks drowning man is asking for 5 beers

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

"I'd like to take a few minutes to make a series of promises I have no intention of keeping."

A bill poster pasting up a wanted poster of himself.

"You know, he's not nearly as scary close up!"

"It looks like a pitch for a survival-themed reality show."

"Can I call you back? We're having our favorite argument."

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

And on this day, God created children.