Scrub Life Appreciator Gifts

'I'm not sure about the new bone specialist.'

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."

Fish to friend regarding third fish leaving Precambrian ocean: 'There's been no living with him since he started to evolve.'

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

'Listen, McDonald, either knock off the E-I-E-I-O, or I call the sheriff!'

"My parents are nice, school's going well, and I'm basically a good kid. Unfortunately, there's no money or fame in being normal."

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

'I'm afraid to a horse a carrot is just a carrot!'

Life is just four letters...

Fish Workout

"Oh, gross! It squished a trilobite!"

Kevin was very houseproud and it showed.

"This is your ninth birthday party this year."

'When the poor dear retired, he found that he missed his little cubicle,'

"He may be fluent in French, but I'm affluent in every language."

The singular joy of living with a person who routinely glimpses the miraculous in the mundane.

"Please excuse him...interns always worry patients don't think they're real doctors!"

'Rock beats Scissors!'

'His bark is worse than his bite.'

"Oh year?! Well, MY daddy is the largest of the largest animal species on earth!"

Surgery.

Photography store offers wedding and divorce packages.

"Okay go ahead, but I say the appendix is on the right."

Horse lit up by electric fence. Title: 'Hot Lunch on the Ponderosa'

'He makes his own gin too.'

Grazing

There's no cure for birth and death, so you may as well enjoy the interval!

'Oh, you are such a BABY! Just how bad can a little paper cut be?'