Scrolling Strategist T-Shirts

"Today I'm going to search and scroll and swipe and binge."

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Internet Cafe.

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

Romans.

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

'I've got it written down...'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

"You want to go shopping in Lisbon? Honey, give me 10 seconds to sign the order to invade Portugal!"

95 Theses That Will Blow Your Mind!

Book

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

'But what do you sell?'

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

'I need a change in my life. From now on it's all wheeling and no dealing'

Virgil

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

"What time does the Black Friday parade begin?"

'I'm the same as you - too sick to go into work, but well enough to go shopping!'

Outer Cuteness vs. Inner Cuteness