Scripture Surfer Prints

Moses on the web

Moses Tries Water Skiing.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

Baby on board.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

TV-Man

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

"You've got computer-breath."

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

How I met your mother

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'No surf?'

Remote control wars.

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

'Another nice wave.'

Surfing kangaroo #1 Hawaiian shirt.

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."