Scripture Lover Pillows

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Meet the scribe"

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

Cleric with bible briefcase.

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

Regifts of the Magi

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

Welcome to ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? Theatre

Moses comes down the mountain with the first silicon chip.

Scrip Doctor

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

"You know, Father, they say the Old Testament is the new New Testament."

'Oh, another thing, there'll be no more of this standing upright business, ok?'

Jesus wept

"For the last time Pharaoh, it's a plague, not global warming."

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."