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"Why do you suppose it's only the kids who spot us?"

Eraserhead

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Zombie standup

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

Dead Funny

Night of the Zombonies.

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

Zombies.

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

Check zombies.

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

"Don't open me, you fool!"

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

Spooning

Zombie Problems

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Earnest's invite had lied about there being a live band"

'The whole office is slack-jawed and drooling! It's either a zombie invasion or that smooth jazz you play on the intercom.'

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

'Ooooo...I ate it too fast. Brain freeze.'

"Now make sure your heat is high enough to sear your putrid meat quickly."

Born of the Dead

The Zombie Awakes...

"So, how's your scary movie?"

'I'm not saying I won't eat left-brained people's brains, but I prefer right.'

Sleepwalking to work.

'No, Igor, not Phillips head...Flat head! Flat head! Bring me the flat head!'

'These guys aren't playing by the rules!!!'

"Murphy the wonder dog - and some zombie he met at the unleashed park."

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

"Your wife called you 'heartless?' Well...she is right."