Screen Fiend T-Shirts

RAISED BY PHONES

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

Person with eyes focused on a computer screen.

"Baldo, why don't you turn that computer off and do something else?"

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

100 best beheadings

"Don't open me, you fool!"

Binary Man

Spooning

"I'll be glad when this is over and Sarah can be herself again."

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"So, how's your scary movie?"

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

2001: A Space Odyssey - Updated

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

"I'm sure you may need your phone, portable charger, laptop, iPad, Xbox, and music player. But we're only going to the mailbox."

Rosemary's Baby Supplies

'Have you figured out our New Year's resolution?'

Stop Staring at Me!

"Is it an important text?"

Boy at Computer.

"We've just crossed the line between binge viewing and OCD viewing."

"... And how long have you had this total fixation with T.V.?"

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

What passes today for 'nose in a book'.

'Thanks for tuning in - we'll try to pander to you.'

Traditional Family Meals

"It'll never work—you're a moviegoer and I'm a film buff."

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

"I was admitted to heaven, but they didn't have WIFI."