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"You're going to hate yourself."

Instructional guide to scribbling

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

'The girls must be feeling better...'

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

'You know darn well 'Aaargh' isn't a real word!'

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

'Don't be hard on the boy, dear, I'm sure that Van Gogh's first sunflowers weren't so hot.'

'...And then, apparently, it just went berserk when someone insisted on having 'Podcast'.'

"I'm sorry I ever questioned the value of Tetris."

'How God invented polish'

Museum Guard Portrait

"Well, Martha, I certainly hope your Scrabble victories keep you warm at night!"

"Don't even think about it."

'Pencil for Cartoonists.'

'Of course this scribble doesn't make any sense. Why do you think the critics call it an intellectual masterpiece?'

Schr?dinger's cat playing Scrabble.

"I think we're in for a long winter."