Scottish Dancer Gifts

Four men in kilts.

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

Scottish party

Bagpipes in the bath.

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

'Personally I think one great improvement to these tea dances would be some tables.'

Broadway Moosical.

The Stripper

"You are clever George, how did you recognise your secretary?"

Whatever!

"Do you mind?"

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

Randy – you're a male stripper! Senor Stud, ma'am. Don't be a dope. I know it's you. You have me confused with someone else. So this is how you make your money. Does Rudy know? Rudy? I do find the dumb act very sexy. Senor Stud is a Ph.D. In love.

Ladies, welcome to Palais des Beefcakes. Please observe our rules. NO making lewd propositions to our performers and absolutely no touching. No touching. Let's me and you honeymoon.

"Okay, come at me in a conga line."

"I wrote this song for Catalina, the woman who's taught me almost everything..."

'Okay... if you're a leprechaun then let's see you Riverdance.'

Keeping Warm in the Highlands

Some people bring sunshine wherever they go.

"I got this new hat for when we do the collection at the end."

"He only dances to The Dubliners."

"What ever became of the days, Béla, when we all used to dance with wild abandon by the firelight."

A sheep shearing herself on stage - A sheep strip show

'WOOHOOO! Yeah BABY, yeah!' (at a zebra strip show)

Irish Jig Saws

Dog urinating against a table dancer's pole.

Dancing with the Star Wars

Pole Dancing Every Night: 'It's one of the perks of being a weights and measures inspector.'

'Check this out Henry, the stripper has arrived.'

"Sure her act is legal in a nightclub - but she was doing it in the street."

"At least I won't have to jump out of these silly things for a living any more."

Fishman disco dances in the light of a lighthouse with a disco ball.

"A stripper in Ohio claims her privacy was violated when a patron took a picture of her while she was performing, thus invoking her Constitutional right to irony."

Learn-to-dance pants.

Baking Bread