Scones Pillows

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

"Stupid flu season."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"All natural snow cones for sale."

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

Secretive Weigh In.

"The rolling wheels...the ringing bells...signal the deliciousness of summer."

Panettone

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

You know, the snowballs we get in the summer are better. They're flavored!

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

'If they rise they're scones. If not they're pancakes.'

'Have you heard the news about Susan in logistics?...'

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"We've already had 35 people sign up for our new latte, scone and debt-consolidation loan combo. Where are you going to get all this money to loan people? Are you wearing a wire? Are you sure this is on the level? Smash your cellphone and I'll answer you."

"Baldo, the summer is almost gone and you still haven't found a job!"

"I'm worried you're not getting enough fruit and vegetables."

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

What can I get you? A lemonade, and a scone for my avatar. No way. You have an avatar? Sure. Who doesn't? It's the hip thing. But that's just a movie concept. You're living in an imaginary kid world, right? If you say so. Okay, so one lemonade and one pretend scone. Real scone. For my real avatar. Don't let it get to you. How come I don't have an avatar?!?! You're cruel, lady. Give me my $5. Best money I ever spent.

Everyone blames spring for Frosty's disappearance, but Micky 'The sno-cone dude' Peretti sure seems to know more than he's letting on.

'You kids get out of this park right now and go play in traffic!!!'

"There are scones in the oven too, in case you're peckish."

Analysts have said the US and Russia are closer to nuclear war than ever. The outcome of the election tomorrow will probably determine whether we live in mediocrity … or whether we suffer a nuclear apocalypse in which a crafty café owner, who's squirreled away scones and ammunition in a vast network of underground bunkers, could rise to become feudal warlord of a brand new world. So ... who are you voting for again? The person I've been preparing ever since 2nd grade to vote for.

"Frankly, business sucks."

Snow Cones 50 Cents - self serve.

We've already had 35 people sign up for our new latte, scone and debt-consolidation loan combo. Where are you going to get all this money to loan people? Are you wearing a wire? Are you sure this is on the level? Smash your cellphone and I'll answer you.

"Since it's only 10am, I'll have coffee, strawberry, and maple in a waffle cone."

The world's greatest salesman.

'What's that?' - 'If they rise they're scones, if they not they're pancakes.'

14! What does that mean? We started the day with 100 pastries. We sold 85. There should be 15 left. But there are only 14. Overreaction coming. STOLEN SCONE!!! Breathe.

The Problem Revealed.

"Actually, I'm not hungry anymore. While I was waiting for my scone, I had one of your delicious sconces instead!"

The House of Java Cafe was suddenly a house divided. The humble establishment had been divided into faith-based and non-faith-based seating. Heathen! Blasphemer! Cereal-eater! Judgmental scone-lover! You have no values. You have even less! And some walking a not-so-delicate line down the middle. You're all stinkin' losers!

News. We're supposed to eat from the food circle. It's replacing the food pyramid. It's a lot more fun to eat from the food cone!