Add a touch of humor to their baking space with a plush pillow featuring playful scone-themed designs—great for lounging after a batch of freshly baked scones.
Tommy, I have a question for you. I didn't do nothin'. We're missing a scone. Now, no one's accusing you of anything. I swear, you've got the wrong guy. I definitely didn't take a scone when you went to check email because I was super hungry. You have the right to remain silent. I did it!
We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.
"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."
Secretive Weigh In.
Turtle Hat
Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.
Menu Dating
'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'
How would Madam like to pay?
"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."
'If they rise they're scones. If not they're pancakes.'
"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."
"We've already had 35 people sign up for our new latte, scone and debt-consolidation loan combo. Where are you going to get all this money to loan people? Are you wearing a wire? Are you sure this is on the level? Smash your cellphone and I'll answer you."
"Baldo, the summer is almost gone and you still haven't found a job!"
'Does your phone have a scanner thingy? I've got a barcode on my butt if you want my number.'
"I'm worried you're not getting enough fruit and vegetables."
How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.
What can I get you? A lemonade, and a scone for my avatar. No way. You have an avatar? Sure. Who doesn't? It's the hip thing. But that's just a movie concept. You're living in an imaginary kid world, right? If you say so. Okay, so one lemonade and one pretend scone. Real scone. For my real avatar. Don't let it get to you. How come I don't have an avatar?!?! You're cruel, lady. Give me my $5. Best money I ever spent.
"There are scones in the oven too, in case you're peckish."
"She always said she'd only share this recipe over her dead body."
Analysts have said the US and Russia are closer to nuclear war than ever. The outcome of the election tomorrow will probably determine whether we live in mediocrity … or whether we suffer a nuclear apocalypse in which a crafty café owner, who's squirreled away scones and ammunition in a vast network of underground bunkers, could rise to become feudal warlord of a brand new world. So ... who are you voting for again? The person I've been preparing ever since 2nd grade to vote for.
We've already had 35 people sign up for our new latte, scone and debt-consolidation loan combo. Where are you going to get all this money to loan people? Are you wearing a wire? Are you sure this is on the level? Smash your cellphone and I'll answer you.
Amateurs de vin...
Bunny Slope
Big smart phone and small tablet.
"I'm in the mood to swipe left on everything."
"Actually, I'm not hungry anymore. While I was waiting for my scone, I had one of your delicious sconces instead!"
We're looking for a few greedy people.
The Problem Revealed.
14! What does that mean? We started the day with 100 pastries. We sold 85. There should be 15 left. But there are only 14. Overreaction coming. STOLEN SCONE!!! Breathe.
'I was arrested for stealing too many artificial sweetener packets from restaurants.'
'What's that?' - 'If they rise they're scones, if they not they're pancakes.'
"Stupid flu season."
The House of Java Cafe was suddenly a house divided. The humble establishment had been divided into faith-based and non-faith-based seating. Heathen! Blasphemer! Cereal-eater! Judgmental scone-lover! You have no values. You have even less! And some walking a not-so-delicate line down the middle. You're all stinkin' losers!
"I thought you said I'd have to pull the sword from a scone!"
Explore our collection of scone swipe-themed mugs—fun, witty, and perfect for brightening their mornings.
Decorate any space with prints that capture the charm of scone swiping—adding personality to their culinary environment.
Find the ideal scone-inspired t-shirt to showcase their baking enthusiasm with humor and style.