Scone Swiper Pillows

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Menu Dating

Secretive Weigh In.

Turtle Hat

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

How would Madam like to pay?

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

'If they rise they're scones. If not they're pancakes.'

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"We've already had 35 people sign up for our new latte, scone and debt-consolidation loan combo. Where are you going to get all this money to loan people? Are you wearing a wire? Are you sure this is on the level? Smash your cellphone and I'll answer you."

"Baldo, the summer is almost gone and you still haven't found a job!"

'Does your phone have a scanner thingy? I've got a barcode on my butt if you want my number.'

"There are scones in the oven too, in case you're peckish."

"She always said she'd only share this recipe over her dead body."

Amateurs de vin...

Big smart phone and small tablet.

'I was arrested for stealing too many artificial sweetener packets from restaurants.'

"I'm in the mood to swipe left on everything."

'What's that?' - 'If they rise they're scones, if they not they're pancakes.'

"Actually, I'm not hungry anymore. While I was waiting for my scone, I had one of your delicious sconces instead!"

We're looking for a few greedy people.

The Problem Revealed.

Scones Hot Line

"Stupid flu season."

"I thought you said I'd have to pull the sword from a scone!"

"Do you recall how my eHarmony profile said I love to hike? Well, I lied."