Scientific Studies Gifts

Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey

The Habits of the Night Moth

A recent scientific study has concluded that toast and marmalade may be hazardous to your health.

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"It's such a lovely day!"

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

Timmy has a great future in nano-technology.

Virtual Doctor

Wilhelm Rontgen's first attempt at X-rays: shining a bright light through Madame Rontgen.

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'Let's see what else will explode in the microwave!'

'What's holding him up?'

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

"Boss is coming! Discover something!"

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

For the last time, Bobby, I told you – every other person gets the red cup with the placebo. Lemonade 50¢.

"It says here that study claims chimps and humans are 96% the same. What's your thoughts Derek?"

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"It's alive! Alive!!"

Miami Mice

"Some Debussy, Igor."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

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