Scientific Researcher T-Shirts

"I'm like Santa, but for 'Season's Greetings.' Here, have a box of cotton swabs."

Duh Magazine

Research/Bottlenecks/Development.

"We collaborate. I'm an expert but not an authority, and Dr. Gelbis is an authority, but not an expert."

"Forget enlightenment. I want you to concentrate on the structure of the protein molecule."

"It says here researchers have found we're not as smart as some people believe."

ALLIED CHEMICAL PRODUCTS, INC., 'I'd like to transfer out of Research & Development for awhile.'

"Ah good, my parcel from head office!"

Model X-20 Robot

Heart and Stroke Research Centre

Sun Tzu takes on Heisenberg

"Igor, get your mind out of the gutter."

"Are you still a global warming denier?"

Wilhelm Rontgen's first attempt at X-rays: shining a bright light through Madame Rontgen.

'At the end of the day stem cell research is only what you make of it.'

Say No To Stem Cell Research

'Joseph is in the global warming business.'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

ALLIED CHEMICAL PRODUCTS, INC., 'I'd like to transfer out of Research & Development for awhile.'

In a world first, researchers were able to simulate a storm in a paper tea cup...

'The position calls for a doctorate, in biochemistry...'

"Boss is coming! Discover something!"

"You took more than 30 minutes, so I guess it's free again."

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

The Jeopardy of Progress

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"Good boy."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."