Researcher T-Shirts

'Huh! If only it were that simple.'

"The applications are limitless."

2021

"So in other words, we're hoping to discover what makes the nitty, gritty."

"When Dr. Henderson comes in, everybody play dead."

'The GPS eliminates all the guesswork.'

"I'm not doubting that it does the job well. All I'm saying is that it might be a little more than is actually necessary."

"Daddy works in a magical, faraway land called Academia."

'You're a selfish b***ard, Lewis! Those stem-cell lines were meant for people who've LOST an organ!'

Cambridge, 1953. Shortly before discovering the structure of DNA, Watson and Crick, depressed by their lack of progress, visit the local pub.

"I'm afraid this whole experiment is about to go south."

"Doctor Jekyll and Doctor Hyde."

"Defunding increases aggression."

'I'm afraid it's one of those new superbugs.'

The ERG finally conclude their exhaustive research into Europe.

"It looks as if Bodecker's project has gotten completely out of hand."

"I've learned a lot in sixty-three years. But, unfortunately, almost all of it is about aluminum."

"No Shakespeare, yet. But, they are churning out ten drug names a week."

Most scientists regard the new streamlined peer-review process as 'quite an improvement'.

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

'It's a foolproof formula for writing grant applications.'

"I just feel fortunate to live in a world with so much disinformation at my fingertips."

'Let's hold off making a decision until we have even more information we don't really need.'

Information vs. confusion

"They're harmless when they're alone, but get a bunch of them together with a research grant and watch out."

"Your body language says you've lost interest."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'We've run out of lab rats, Henderson,,,put this on and come with us,'

'Excuse me, where's the nanotechnology department?' - 'You just trod on it.'

Caveman is unable to attract venture capital for his square wheel invention.

Struggling Scientist, Please cite my papers.

Panel with Experts to be broken in case of emergency

'I was close to a breakthrough when the grant money ran out.'

Santa's Early Years of Research and Development...

'While doing the research, keep in mind there are only two kinds of facts...Those that support my position...and inconclusive.'