Scientific Foodie Pillows

'If Darwin had been the cook on the Beagle' 'Menu- its Evolution'.

"Management would like you to keep in mind that the latest research indicates that everything on our 'Healthy Menu' is now unhealthy."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

What the Doctor Ordered

"Even the waiters here are organic."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"States of tofu"

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"You do like octopus?"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

La Table

Fast food. Even faster food

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'He made an excellent jelly.'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'