Science Whiz Gifts

"I see you got an A+++ in science."

How To Monetize Other Kids' Science Projects

Grants Office Scientific Research Section.

"That's just great. I discover the cure for the common cold and all you can do is criticize."

'Is that it? Is that the Grand Unified Theory?'

Snakecharming.

"Well, I hope you're happy, Mr. Science Genius. Now you've killed your little sister."

"Maastrichtian foraminifera dinosteranes, hmm? Well, that's easy for you to say."

"Then write it up for The Journal of Surprising Discoveries."

'Look, it's quite simple. It isn't rocket science you know... Er... Well, you know what I mean.'

"Great. I guess he'll win again."

'I've isolated the gene that makes people vote for Clintons ? it's a mutated form of the old Kennedy gene!'

Big Bang Theory.

'You did help Junior with his science project.'

'...and like most kids with a chemistry set, I just mixed a little of this and a little of that, so the result was truly a surprise.'

"Lucky Guess."

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

"Okay, you got this! Who introduced the theory of punctuated equilibrium?"

"We've done it! We've done it! We've discovered a detergent that takes the chore out of washing and makes all other detergents seem old-fashioned by comparison!"

"I got an 'A' for my anti-gravity science project!"

Nuclear plant is next to a State Evacuation Plan Commission.

'Did you know I have 3000 bones in my body?'

Science and mothers day

'They taught evolution when Steve went to school, but he never got the hang of it.'

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

"He's a typical kid. Spends all day on that thing doing his genetic sequencing."

"Class, please turn in your homework on 'How Airplanes Fly.'"

"He's my school project for science class."

"Timmy, thank you for your science report..."Yawning is Contagious.'"

"Straight As in Physics, Maths and Chemistry! You might surpass your dad and finally catch a roadrunner..."

"Simple - the magnesium ion set among four nitrogen ions is the porphyrn responsible for chlorophyll. Any other questions?"

"Aren't you afraid you might get too smart?"

'A Great Big Bang. An I-Can-Read Cosmology Book'

"When water turns into ice, which of its physical properties increases?"

"Did you hear? Melinda Alvarez, the smartest girl in school, made an ice cream machine for her science project and then shared it with all her teachers! What did you make, Gracie?"