Science-savvy Friend T-Shirts

Isaac Newton...stumped.

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

Tree Funeral

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

Endangered Species - Hardly/Slightly/Extremely.

The Soundness of Newton's Laws

The password: "C'mon everybody try to remember!"

"I feel it's only fair to warn you, Dr. Thompson, that watching cell division can be quite stimulating!"

Portrait artist drawing DNA patterns.

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

"Sorry, your password must have at least nine characters, with both letters and numbers."

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

"Hang on - I've got an app for this. . ."

Science Fair: 'We need a new rule - all projects MUST be in a container!'

Most egregious misuse of Commons speaking time.

Rape of the Lock- The Barge

"You have the right to one phone call, or one cell phone call, or one pager call, or one e-mail!"

Vote for me...I'm not that guy!

"The doctors running late. Feel free to catch up on your binge watching in our waiting room."

New to selfies? Pick a style!

'You say Merezenski did the exact same experiment, but did Merezenski add chocolate syrup at this point?'

'I believe one of the doctors here practices alternative medicine.'

'I occasionally need to read my tweets to remember what I was doing.'

"I like the Pasteurs, but my goodness – boiled tomato juice, boiled fish with boiled lettuce, boiled bread, boiled salad..."