Science Saffer T-Shirts

Geek in indignation at fellow geek's T-shirt which says: 'I'm with someone who can only recite pi to 100 decimal places.'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

At the Museum

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

Albert Einstein

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

Apples for sale

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

Fusion Lab. Did you tell the boss we need more hydrogen? Yes, I told him we were out of our element.

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

'My science project is an experiment in static electricity.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Archimedes, Galileo, Copernicus

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

You must be this tall.

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."

"What's a nine-letter word for biotechnology?"

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"That concludes my presentation on popular music and alternative energy."

Corona Funeral

Genius Envy