Science Joker Pillows

'Under strict laboratory conditions, research concludes that, in spite of being watched, pots do eventually boil.'

'Hey - don't blame ME...it's YOUR D.N.A.'

'They want us to double check our methodology. Your turn to flip.'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"I'm hoping to go pro one day..."

Standup Chemist: 'So he comes back into the room, he turns around, he puts the chicken on the table and he says, 'all right, potassium chloride'.'

Intelligent people laugh too!

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

"In science class we tested Mr. Henderson's temper by seeing how much we could goof-off before it exploded."

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

"It's nothing serious. We're just carbon dating."

"So a horse has 6 legs, forelegs at the front and 2 at the back?"

Party Schools...

1907: Thanks to his dog, Edward Fishkopp discovers the rocket drive.

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

Chemistry trash talk - 'I heard your mama thinks Pasteurized milk was named for Louis Pasteruize.'

Man trying to get to sleep by counting cloned sheep.

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

"Is it true Dad...is the Earth really made of bleu cheese?"

'Did you check the glove compartment? -- maybe you left the keys in there.'

E=Emcee Squared

Pole Star

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

"I trust him - he has a science background."

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

One of Many California Gene Pools

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."