Science Comedy Lovers Pillows

Mathematics

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"...I think we've found the missing link!"

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

'Galileo, I said a right at the corner and then a left.'

The life of penguins.

It's an experiment.

'I don't KNOW what I'm doing -- this is pure research!'

'Catch this!'

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

'By selective breeding over the course of 10,000 generations, we've managed to create the world's ugliest fruit fly!

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

The Uterus in the form of a Ewe

"Actually, I find his murky past rather attractive."

'Yes Ma'am, we're from the Governement: We need samples for scientific testing...'

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

'It's a government funded study to find out how many wrongs make a right.'

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

'Walking your pet amoeba again, Henry?'