Schooltime Storyteller Mugs

"It's not fair! School was out an hour ago. . . I don't wanna be sick now!"

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Late night teddy reading

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

'She's just great with the children.'

The Poky Little Pupa.

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

'A dog ate my homework.'

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

Why don't you ever like to spoon?

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"Name your sources."

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

',,,and they all lived happily ever after, Now close your eyes and go to sleep'