School Stories Lover Pillows

'Whoa, give him some space. It's not a heart attack, he just got his class list for next term.'

'Before I begin today's lesson, please turn off your cell phones, beepers and ipods.'

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

'A dog ate my homework.'

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

Criminal background checks on teachers? How come? To weed out child abusers. Ha! When you taught, you were routinely accused of severe abuse, mother. True. I inflicted the letters "C," "D" and "F" on many of my students. Wow! That's so outlawed.

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

'I'm not late. Everyone learns at their own speed.'

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

Student goes through home room sees his home.

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

"I forgot my homework, but there's a video of me doing it on youtube."

"Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school."

'...All I can say is, the judge was adamant about his gag order on the case.'

"We've unleashed your child's potential—this is as good as it's going to get."

'Dad, the teacher said my grades remind her of old times. She says she was your teacher too.'

"So, is it like a foursome then, miss?"

"You like woodwork class then, son?"

"Why do I have to learn to tell time? Can't I just listen for the bell?"

'Yep, I did eat his homework, but he begged me to.'

'When I was a student, wireless data transmission meant passing notes in class.'