School Searcher Pillows

The good news is that we've found a local school for your boy, the bad news is that it's local to Newcastle.

Yummy Mummies

"I think I gained weight because of the heavy reading Mr. Klacken assigns us."

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

Morton's pride was understandable. He was the first in the Pinhead Family to ever graduate.

'If you are here, you'll be late for gym class."

"What did you study in school today, Gracie?"

"I'm sure your students understand it was your first day, Tom... besides, seeing a man cry doesn't have the stigma it once did!"

We're waiting to see if he'll see his shadow.

How were the academic departments on the campuses you visited? Dad!!! Stop stressing me!! College hunting is hard enough without you prying into every detail of my life! Arrghh!! How were the drama departments?

Here's the college for me! It's totally green. Let's see. I though you wanted warm weather. Look at the brochure. There's no snow in any of the pictures. The school is in Minnesota. Wow! Early signs of global warming. Who knew it hit college brochures first?

Able to Google Stuff Man

My name is Bob and my laptop crashed! Tech Support Groups.

"I'm not good with letters."

"I'm googling which rock to pick."

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

"My problem is, I can't tell the rules from the guidelines."

Man rummaging through a TV set throwing out bits of paper

'Don't I even get a chance to put my spin on it?'

'Don't worry about the boy who bullied your son...I've sorted him.'

'You need to get your grades up...because good grades are an early sign of good credit scores.'

"I can't believe Tia Carmen is working in our cafeteria! This bites! How can she do this to me?"

First Day of School

"When I said you can learn at your own pace, I meant within the school year!"

"Look dear. . . there I am the first day of school and there you are!"

'My lab partner wants a prenuptial agreement!'

"Quick! Countless damsels await!"

Falcon finds Waldo

'My teacher sent me. She said to tell you I'm just not myself.'

"It took three months for us to find a school within travelling distance of our house but because of the roadworks it still takes three hours to get there."

"I'm lactose-intolerant, so can I say 'beans' instead?"

'Try searching Criminal Records for your father's family history.'

Medical School. Ernie, you should have told there there was a quiz in obstetrics class, not that you had to take a pregnancy test.

'It's a note form my teacher, you're to go to my school and write 100 times on the blackboard 'I'll teach my son to be more respectful'.'

'According to this, we don't get any clout until we're alumni.'