School Safety Hero Gifts

'My job on the school's safety patrol is to frisk the other kids for concealed weapons.'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"Very fine people on both sides."

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

'This handheld computer is very useful for teaching. It displays my lesson plan, calander, key files, and an extensive menu of put-downs for hecklers and classroom clowns.'

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

'While outsourcing is a common business practice, you may not ousource your research and homework assignments, Fletcher.'

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

'That's our corporate ladder.'

"She's a high grade teacher."

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

'Ok, class, let's take attendance. Joey?'

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

"I need you to line up by attention span."

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

'Right lad, now it's my turn for free expression . . . (I wish!)'

"I said 'I quit'. Nobody listens to me any more."

I must not erase major breakthroughs....

"I want you to know that the school board is very pleased with your efforts to make this new budget work."

"May I have your attention please???" "NO!!!"

''Excellent','excellent','a delight' - for heaven's sake, don't you ever feel like rebelling a bit?'

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

'Come out of that cupboard. If you can't stand up to the class bully, who will? After all, you are the Headmaster...?'

Welcome to summer school.

'What'd you learn today?'