School Report Philosophers Prints

"Don't you worry about me. I'll be fine, as long as you keep working."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"One year closer to college!"

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

Life after death

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

"I went back to warn them, but they already knew and didn't seem to care."

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

Philosophy Test Today. This "Meaning of Life" question -- is that essay or true-false?

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

"I attempted to circumvent the traditional trappings of a teen furlough...but I was thwarted by my czar-ish parental unit."

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"You'll get over him."

'Someday, when our pre-frontal cortexes are fully developed, we'll look back on this and shake our heads.'

No Miss, I wasn't day dreaming. I was planning my summer vacation!

War on drugs... war on terror... war on lima beans.

'So, in college what did you major in' - 'Business poetry.'

"I feel I need to take a break from academia."

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

Think we knew each other in a past life, Randy? I don't believe in past lives. In fact, I don't believe in the past. Or the future I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight? ... Sorry, that's Randy's line #42. Reflex. Wait, let me write that down.

"Time travel is real, but only forward and very slowly."