School Of Life Learner Pillows

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

'I did it all from memory.'

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

"I'm doing all I can to make the little things count."

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

'The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.'

The new boy was teased for being different.

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

'OK Sheldon - which part of the Unified Field Theory do you not understand?'

"I'm sure your students understand it was your first day, Tom... besides, seeing a man cry doesn't have the stigma it once did!"

University of Hard Knocks

"I want to be a Jockey."

Moral Values for Dummies

"We all make mistakes. That's why pencils have erasers!"

'What did you learn at university today?'

'He can call whoever he wants, she's still not parking that thing in my classroom!'

'I'm not late. Everyone learns at their own speed.'

"I'm just saying you're not allowed to use your phone during class. You're not being de-platformed."

'How come you're always trying to teach me things I don't want to know.'

"Does school really help people with real life?"

"Why do I have to learn to tell time? Can't I just listen for the bell?"

'So, just how long were you at the School of Hard Knocks?'

"I tried talking to the principal about what I’d be teaching next semester, but he kept changing the subject."