School Of Life Learner Gifts

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

'I did it all from memory.'

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

"I'm doing all I can to make the little things count."

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

'The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.'

The new boy was teased for being different.

"I'm sure your students understand it was your first day, Tom... besides, seeing a man cry doesn't have the stigma it once did!"

University of Hard Knocks

'OK Sheldon - which part of the Unified Field Theory do you not understand?'

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

"We all make mistakes. That's why pencils have erasers!"

'What did you learn at university today?'

Moral Values for Dummies

"I want to be a Jockey."

'He can call whoever he wants, she's still not parking that thing in my classroom!'

'I'm not late. Everyone learns at their own speed.'

"I'm just saying you're not allowed to use your phone during class. You're not being de-platformed."

'How come you're always trying to teach me things I don't want to know.'

"Does school really help people with real life?"

"Why do I have to learn to tell time? Can't I just listen for the bell?"

'So, just how long were you at the School of Hard Knocks?'