School Lunch Experts T-Shirts

'They sent me home from school because my lunch was out of compliance.'

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

"At least the anti-public education folks haven't started to try to dictate what we can have for lunch."

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

'As if school lunches weren't bad enough. Now, they have to be nutritious!'

"This means that dad is climbing Everest with my cheese and pickle sandwich."

Schoolboy with lunch box.

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

'Casey laughed so hard at lunch milk came out his nose...or as we say now... he had a liquid food malfunction.'

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

'Hello - is that Jamie Oliver?'

'I'll trade you, sight unseen.'

"Our food supervisor used to be a military cook."

'What's intravenous feeding? My mom says if I don't eat my vegetables, she'd do that to me!'

"She said this is not the same old alphabet soup, this one has a new font."

"Can I have a standard lunch bag please Mum? They make fun of me at school when I eat out of my nose bag..."

"Ever since we started home schooling, I've developed more of an appreciation for school lunches."

"Don't forget... I packed your lunch for school..."

"So you're cool with Tia Carmen working here?"

Pink slime hot dogs.

"I love math! I love spelling! I love school lunches!"

"Bleah! I'd stick to football if I were you, Rashford"

"Talk about cruel and unusual punishment!"

"I won't miss Michelle Obama."

'I always take my lunch on fish stick day.'

"I don't understand my mom! She packed me two lunches like I'm the world's biggest eater!"

"Did your mom commandeer your lunch account again?"

"And would the gentlemen like a table with a fax or without?"

'Well of course the custard's lumpy...it's got garlic in it.'

'I need an antacid. I'm having lunch in the school cafeteria today.'

'Is the scab-e-matter custard and green snot pie organic?'

'No, It's not last years leftovers.'

"Baldo? You left green beans on your plate!"

'And now a moment of silence so that we may never forget the tragic events of March 31st. . . when we ran out of napkins on sloppy Joe Day.'

School Cafeteria. I'm beginning to understand why the first-graders eat paste. (Published originally on Jan. 11, 1995.)