School Lunch Critic Pillows

School Cafeteria. I'm beginning to understand why the first-graders eat paste. (Published originally on Jan. 11, 1995.)

Pink slime hot dogs.

"Our food supervisor used to be a military cook."

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"At least the anti-public education folks haven't started to try to dictate what we can have for lunch."

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

'They sent me home from school because my lunch was out of compliance.'

'As if school lunches weren't bad enough. Now, they have to be nutritious!'

"This means that dad is climbing Everest with my cheese and pickle sandwich."

Schoolboy with lunch box.

'I'm NOT trying to break in and change my grades. I'm only trying to change the school lunch menu.'

'Casey laughed so hard at lunch milk came out his nose...or as we say now... he had a liquid food malfunction.'

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

Wow, you're right! Your mom's regurgitated worms are way better than my mom's!

'What's intravenous feeding? My mom says if I don't eat my vegetables, she'd do that to me!'

"She said this is not the same old alphabet soup, this one has a new font."

'I'll trade you, sight unseen.'

"Ever since we started home schooling, I've developed more of an appreciation for school lunches."

"Can I have a standard lunch bag please Mum? They make fun of me at school when I eat out of my nose bag..."

"Don't forget... I packed your lunch for school..."

"Mexican food?! This is America! I want pizza!"

"I love math! I love spelling! I love school lunches!"

"Bleah! I'd stick to football if I were you, Rashford"

"Talk about cruel and unusual punishment!"

"I won't miss Michelle Obama."

'I always take my lunch on fish stick day.'

'That lunch didn't agree with me - it wasn't tax deductable.'

"I don't understand my mom! She packed me two lunches like I'm the world's biggest eater!"

"Did your mom commandeer your lunch account again?"

'Well of course the custard's lumpy...it's got garlic in it.'

'I need an antacid. I'm having lunch in the school cafeteria today.'

'No, It's not last years leftovers.'

'Is the scab-e-matter custard and green snot pie organic?'