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First Day of School

"I'm not good with letters."

'My lab partner wants a prenuptial agreement!'

"When I said you can learn at your own pace, I meant within the school year!"

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

Continuing education.

Interdisciplinary studies.

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

Paranormal A-Z...

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

"Three more years of high school."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

"So the secret to getting good grades is to study hard...seems a little extreme!"

"Now the geeks hold all the power. They're the ones who know how to forge a parent's e-signature."

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

'My name is Jeremy and I approved this message.'

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

'It's not for homework. It's for traction.'

'People have been known to lose an eye when a wink goes seriously wrong.'

"You know, I'm really more the 'humanities' type."

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'vocabulary'?'

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

"Of course you'll study Latin. How else will you learn the names of your dinosaur friends."

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."