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'So you're doing this just for fun right? Right?'

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Yearbook

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

Paul goes home for the holidays

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

King of Music.

'Oh, Christ.'

For our eco-night entertainment we have Kim's "Dance Against Global Warming," Zahir's "Rap for the Eco Cure" and Twig's "Post-Carbon Poetry Slam." How about you, Jason? I'll explain metal organic vapor deposition in solar panels. Well! We'll see who's into heavy metal.

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

Our eco-prom theme is "Jungle Paradise." Decorations will be live plants. I see where this is leading. Can you bring in trees and bushes for the night? Sure. But

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'I will be a chaperone at the senior prom. I need a prom dress but I don't want to be mistaken for a student.'

"When do the kids go back to school?" "Oh, I don't know... 8 days, 16 hours and 47 minutes... or so."

Prom Theme: Coronavirus

Welcome to the lower grade concert. We will premiere an avant garde song cycle with unexpected solos, parts of melodies that may seem vaguely familiar and musicians who leave the stage for no apparent reason. Enjoy!

'An egg and spoon race! That's horrible!'

Science Fair: 'We need a new rule - all projects MUST be in a container!'

Giant cat at school open night.

"Give my kid a passing grade and you could be looking at many more nice apples."

"Very effective talk on the power of non-verbal communication."

"At last...after so many missed days...so many cruel days apart...we are together once again!"

What?! No way are we pushing for a green prom. Eco-club. Do we have to take the fun out of everything? People will totally embrace it if we frame it in the right way. Like? Saving energy by turning the lights down really low! Or using fewer chaperones. I can deal!

"There's always one kid that spoils the class picture."

Pinata Pranks

'Just a suggestion...have you ever thought of boosting attendance with a bobble-head day?'

Children lining up for face-in-a-hole school photograph.

"Could you tell which flower was me, daddy?"

"Are there any questions about the Battle of Austerlitz?"

Our dance has to be sustainable. I'll send electronic invites. Eco Club. We can hang white LED Christmas lights. The food will be seasonal! Ice cream? W. Fester School.

The Middle-School Dance

For most, the day before school started was considered Labor Day. For Stewie's mom however, it had always been considered Independence Day.