School Colleague Pillows

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

'Look, you can only do so much!'

International Women's Day

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

Boss's Desk Says No!

"Meet The Author"

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Can do...No can do

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Math Dreams