School Anecdotes Pillows

"What? No! Norma, the hairnets are not edible!"

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'A dog ate my homework.'

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

"... And since then, I've been quietly stalking you."

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

"I didn't think you'd make it through biology."

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'Ferguson's not at his desk -- He must be sleepwalking again!'

'Dad, the teacher said my grades remind her of old times. She says she was your teacher too.'

"We've unleashed your child's potential—this is as good as it's going to get."

"My problem is, I can't tell the rules from the guidelines."

'When I was a student, wireless data transmission meant passing notes in class.'

'And there goes the school window...'

Teacher to parents: 'Ah - you're right. What do I know about kids? My biological clock went coo-coo years ago.'

'This note from your teacher says you're doing great for a six year old. Doesn't she know you're fifteen?'

"Who'd like to start today's show and tell?"

'I did have an eventful day at school, but nothing, in my opinion, to write home about.'

Love note discovered by teacher

'Before I begin today's lesson, please turn off your cell phones, beepers and ipods.'

'I do know the capital of France. It's the letter 'F'!'

'Whoa! We sure blew that prediction!'

'Well if you don't want to see me in here anymore, then tell the teachers to stop picking on my bad behaviour!'