School Advocators Gifts

'Who are you going to believe?. . . Them, or your very own son?'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Common Core Family Therapy

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

Staff Yearbook

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

'Personally - I'm against a four-day school week - I'm for a three-day school week. . .'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

Another shot heard round the world.

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

Gold versus Knowledge

Good writing is good thinking

'Man! I wish I'd finished college.'

"I'd say hi to my favorite teacher, but I think she's enjoying some quiet remote-from-us learning."

Piorities in Minnesota.

Uranium, heavy water? Where on the web did you say you got the plans for this birdhouse?

'Boy or girl, straight or gay - I don't care as long as it's science-literate and non-republican.'

'There's more than one kind of deficit.'

'Education is very important. Let's go buy three liters of books so we can learn!'