Scholarship Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"I graduated summa cum laude, whatever that means."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Continuing education.

Scientists are sexy

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

Bribes for Jabs

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

Pinara fund

Geoffrey Rush

'...well you say you're Stephen Hawking but as Eddie Redmayne said he was going to turn up in character we're not too sure."

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

Student Debt

'There'll be a slight delay. The chef is cramming for his nutrition finals.'

'It's the only way I can afford this place.'

'That should be good for quite a few doctoral dissertations in the future.'

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

"Just the, two recruiters from the college's awning leap team drove by."