Scholarly Fashionista Pillows

'I'm going for that scholarly look while I try to quit smoking. They're nicotine patches.'

'We're promoting you to Full Professor, Ferguson -- Here are your elbow patches!:'

The Style of Elements

Scientists are sexy

Little Princess.

Tuck Shop

Australian punk

"I'm ready for my close-up."

'But I only came to Oxford because I heard I could wear a gown!'

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Does it say I'm a Wittgenstein scholar?"

"We've ruled out anything trendy."

"I was innocent but the jury thought I looked really guilty."

"Derek's sneakers were made in Malaysia. Can anyone show us where Malaysia is?"

'We're promoting you to Full Professor, Ferguson -- Here are your elbow patches!:'

A Guide to Academic Gowns and Hoods

'Ms. Worden, please go to the library stacks and bring me a few education journals from the 70s. It seems everything old is new again.'

"Jeffrey's in futures."

'It's true. You can go wrong with basic black.'

'I'm mainly interested in something that won't show up on teaching evaluations.'

"Computer, order me two long-sleeved cotton crewnecks in dark wine and green heather."

"I thought I'd be a successful fashion blogger by now."

'Since issuing hospital gowns to them we've saved on air-conditioning.'

'Nice 'power tie', professor.'

"November 15, 2063 – leonard's eyebrows finally achieve singularity.

'Genetically Modified Underpants.'

Taste in High Life.

The Writer

'Oh, Cynthia. I must tell you. I just found the cutest little mutual fund...'

"Even if designer babies become a reality..."