Scholar Of Theories T-Shirts

'Is that it? Is that the Grand Unified Theory?'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

Physicists disputing whether the clock moves backwards or forwards according to season change.

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

Max Weber

Philosophy Test Today. This "Meaning of Life" question -- is that essay or true-false?

"OK...for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'To be honest, I would have never invented the wheel if not for Urg's ground breaking theoretical work with the circle.'

Lost and Profound.

'Since you conduct only thought experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought results.'

Capital

'Heidegger-Hi!'

'My God Pearson you're right. All these years the greates scientific minds have been looking for the theory of everything and all we had to do was Google it!'

Monkey Business College

"He'll read some Marx and some Freud, and he'll buy some stock. Then he'll read some Plato and some Tolstoy, and he'll sell some stock."

"I love college."

"How can a student who can't speak English or Gobbledegook expect to pass?"

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

Academic Affairs: The Chair of Philosophy Corners the Chair of the Sciences

Another musical treatise from the 16th century is discovered.

'After reviewing my student loans, I wrote my thesis on deficit spending.'

'We think, therefore we are a tank.'

Door sign states: Reincarnation studies Come again ... and again.