Scholar Of Old T-Shirts

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

The first car accident.

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

Gen-Next Library

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

Those Were The Days

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"Have you been working out?"

"Must be another paradigm shift."

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

Wikipedia...

'Read that last part back to me.'

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

Too big to fail

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

Oog has invented the organization chart.

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

"Quit your whining... Someday you'll appreciate affordable student housing."

"If history has taught us anything, it's taught us that there have been a ridiculous number of books written about history."

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

Petrarch

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'