Scholar Of Old Pillows

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

The first car accident.

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

Gen-Next Library

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

Those Were The Days

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Have you been working out?"

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

"Must be another paradigm shift."

Wikipedia...

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Read that last part back to me.'

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

Too big to fail

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'

Petrarch

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

"If history has taught us anything, it's taught us that there have been a ridiculous number of books written about history."

"Oog creates fire and all you can come up with is that silly round thing!"