Scheming Enthusiast Pillows

"I knew I'd find you in here scheming."

My cheapskate muse is dead. Great. I woke up yesterday and realized it's been months since I've had an idea for cheating the customers. Everything I'm coming up with is cliched: charging extra for toilet paper, 75 cents for a clean cup, one-for-the-price-of-two bagel specials. I can't take pride in ripping people off like that. One-for-the-price-of-two?

"The time has come for some tough cost-cutting decisions, and I'm forced to ask myself, do we really need a bass?"

CEO Escape

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

"My assistant is more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy."

Office Canteen: 'Getting in a consultant is win-win for us... we'll get the credit if it's a success - but, if it all goes wrong, we've got someone else to blame!'

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

"It's a setup."

'First item on the agenda...Throw out the agenda!!'

'Be seated. I like to find out if my new employees have synergy.'

"So you want to hide it from other squirrels by presented to deposit it in savings, then taking it back and putting it in a secret account?"

Guitar emergency.

"Yeah, it's a Christmas tree alright! So, we know exactly where the antelopes will be early morning on Christmas day..."

'Danae...you seem to spend twice the time and energy in avoiding your schoolwork than it would take to actually do the work...How far do you expect that'll get you in life?'

Old man stealing sand from a sand box for child

"My records show we sent your bonus. Have you looked on your roof?"

"Doing chores is very stimulating. I'm always thinking of ways to avoid them."

"This is an imaginative expenses claim. I wish we could use those skills of yours in the business."

"May I have your attention? For Christmas, all I want is for everyone to write a note on how smart, charming and social I am. I'm collecting college reference letters before I enter my terrible teens."

'We're looking to expand our globalization into countries that don't extradite.'

A Cemetery in Symmetry form

All's well that ends well

"Let's tell him we've been good. He probably won't call our bluff."

"I call it synergistic business chain development."

"If I do that to my own Barbie, imagine what might happen to a tattle-tale."

'Your teacher called and said the school concert tickets you sold me for $20 were free.'

"Our plan for world domination starts with the chew toys."

Fisherman waiting with a mallet.

"Let's steal the bait and tug on the line. I love the profanity."

'Now THAT's what I call an innovative business plan!'

"The lab boys figured out how to change lead into gold. Now your job is to corner the lead market."

A road side billboard advertises: 'bus drivers eat-free' a man is seen rigging a false panel that looks like a bus to his caravan.

"Let's beach ourselves and get a massage."